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nuts5.jpg
Fuggin Nuts
Anonymous
9PmiK
?
No.61616
61617 61618 61619 61620 61657 61830
That Bitch stares at Trump thoughtfully and appraisingly. At several moments she begins to speak, but then stops. Trump isn't sure if she's having difficulty formulating the words/response, or is unsure how to respond at all. At last, she appears to make some sort of mental connection, and her face brightens. She punches in her ID for a few moments, and turns back to Trump.
"You can have both," she says. "At first I was having trouble recalling this collection of knives, but then I remembered the meme that was shared," she says, holding up her ID to show them.

This thread continues the continuing RP thread that has been continuing - essentially every weekend (and much throughout the week) - and now continues. Playersfaggots are welcome to join, and shitposting/bantz - within reason - is open to faggots and spectators. It's D&D 3.5e+ rules (+ = whatever else we throw in), and since there's so many previous threads with far more effective OP descriptions I'll just get back to it.

Looking at the ID, Trump and Tracy can see a still image of a uniformed individual holding Tracy's Efficient Quiver, with a perplexed look on his face, facing the camera man. Pushing the screen, the image plays and displays the man slowly turning the quiver over and a broom closet full of assorted knives, daggers, kunai, and other assorted blades falls out onto the ground, along with a few pieces of ridiculously elaborate jewelry. As the last of the knives falls out on the floor in a pile about 8' around at the base and 3-1/2' tall, the uniformed man looks back at the camera and says, "What the fuck," before the video stops.
Did I mention that Trump is disguised as an Orangutan (a fashionable one named Clyde), and Tracy as a monster truck?

Meanwhile, Torcuil has been on an enjoyable impromptu date with Death, and has had a delightful time of it all. She's much less intimidating in a hoodie and sweat pants,... and without the skull-face (which is really just a mask that goes with the cloak) she's a pretty down to earth chick,... who goes around and collects the souls of the dead vocationally. They walk together through town after a lovely meal, returning to Trump Tower.

Stix and Snek are likewise returning to the Tower, having located Stix' prized dagger from the previous encounter/scrimmage with Thez.

Elsewhere, an adorable filly adds more sticks to her bundle. A statue of Alex Jones sits in the tower, looking very sad. A Yak is busy putting the Gestapo and the Generals through some martial training drills. Thez however,....
1319 replies and 72 files omitted.
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62398
>>62396
>Grove called Bohemian
~Spooky.
Tracy takes down and inspects the Wanted posters.
Anonymous
W1wmd
?
No.62399
*grumbles to self* what did that she demon monk do now
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62400
>>62397
Nah, technically I gave you an extra chance even, when they got to 30'. With their speed they could run at 90'/round at only 3x
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62401
>>62397
Should've just said football, desu.
Anonymous
69J36
?
No.62402
62406
>>62396
Torc inspects the posters while Snek checks the map some more
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62403
>>62396
Well, I guess Trumpaladin - when he finally mosey's up to the sign to examine it, sees the name "Dubai" and figures it's the only thing he recognizes, and then begins to walk towards "Dubai" as indicated by the map, with Fae
Anonymous
W1wmd
?
No.62404
62406
*begins studying thw map to see id he recegnizes any land marks
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62405
>>62396
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.. unless we are; I've never been.." Tracy says, tripping over hoo-man euphemisms as she flips through the posters in her hands.
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62406
62409 62414 62433
>>62404
The only recognizable location is the Durpistan Ruins, which is listed as off limits to the west.
>>62402
As for the posters there are a number of them, most of which are irrelevant. What are however is that there's one for each of you, with a pretty good likeness for each. The last known location is unknown. Next to yours is one for Thez, and one for Kiynen as well, with the last known location being Durpistan.
Anonymous
W1wmd
?
No.62407
62408
*grumbles about the small price on the wanted poster for himself* Trump we should head for durpistan ruins and see id we can track down the damn monk
ed/oZ
?
No.62408
>>62407
"With how exotic these surroundings are, I think you are being very optomistic if you think we can find her from Durpistan. I think it may do us well to go to a populated location - to figure out where we are and what is going on."
\r
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62409
62411 62415
>>62406
>Durpistan Ruins
"Hmmm.. I meant to give killy a visit.."
>one for Kiynen
"Wait, Killy's on the lamb? Why?"
*realizes they left her in Durpistan alone atop a mountain of corpses*
"..Oh..."

Tracy folds the remaining wanted posters and puts them in her pocket.
She takes out her bag of dust.
"Alright, everyone line up for random comical disguises."
Anonymous
W1wmd
?
No.62410
62413
Gm does the wamted poster of lenos show his dragon form?
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62411
>>62409
"I have no desire to see that dragon ever again"
Trumpaladin says
Anonymous
W1wmd
?
No.62412
62413 62414
If i remember correctly there was a mine with lots of gems in durpistan. We need money to start tracking down the monk
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62413
62415
>>62410
No
>>62412
The mine is listed with several strangely named encampments of sorts surrounding it.
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62414
62415 62416
>>62406
How does Trumpaladin look in his poster? Is his hair charming? Does his armor shimmer under the light? Does he have a smug expression on his face?

>>62412
"We couldn't get that mine to work when we were there. The first order of business should be 'what the hell is going on.' I think we have some money. Not a lot, but some. So we should find living people and ask them"
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62415
62419
>>62409
"I don't recognize this place.. but I know Durpistan. If Killy's in trouble, it's us who put her there.." Tracy says, with a ghost of guilt in her tone
>>62413
"Wait, I don't recognize these.." Tracy says, narrowing her eyes
>>62414
"Infernius pulled an entire cart's worth of gems out of there in one day. It's definitely a hotbed.
Besides, I don't recognize any of these other places...." she goes on, with a hint of discomfort

"And weren't we just about to get gang-raped by corpses five minutes ago?! What the fuck just happened to us?!"
Anonymous
W1wmd
?
No.62416
62417 62419
>>62414
The monks last known location was durpistan we should see if there is any sign of her there. Then she can explain what the fuck is going on.
Infernius can you sense her?
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62417
62418 62421
>>62416
Infernius isn't with them.
Thez was in Cardishil, last we knew.
Anonymous
W1wmd
?
No.62418
62420
>>62417
>>62384
This post says he is
ed/oZ
?
No.62419
62425
>>62415
>If Killy's in trouble, it's us who put her there..
"Good. Fuck her."

>>62415
>"And weren't we just about to get gang-raped by corpses five minutes ago?! What the fuck just happened to us?!"
"Never forget that we are gladitorial combatants sponsored by wealthy patrons. Remember that Johnny Cash poofed us away to a strange location. There is no reason to think they can't do the same again."

>>62416
"I think you are reading that wrong. I think that means that Kiynen's last known location was Durpistan. Thez either stayed in Cardishore or was poofed elsewhere. What do you hope to get out of a ghost town? We need to go toward civilization"
\r
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62420
>>62418
oh.. I stand corrected..
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62421
>>62417
No, Infernius is there now with Tracy and Trump and co.

Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62422
62424
Trumpaladin looks up to the sky, dark and grey, or an erie blue as it may be. He cries out:
"Gilanna de Fatima, House of Thez! I summon thee! Your Infernius misses you... I am sure!"

Trumpaladin looks up for a moment, then looks down. "Damn it. Maybe I should tie Tracy's forelegs up and suspend her from a tree. That summoned her across dimensions last time"
Anonymous
W1wmd
?
No.62423
*shrugs shoulders* you do what you feel is best im heading to durpistan to look around and get my bearings for whatever comes next. Plus i wouldnt mind seeing my lady again.
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62424
62425 62426 62427
Also one should note that where the party is accoring to the map is where Cardashil should be.
>>62422
kek
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62425
62426
>>62419
>What do you hope to get out of a ghost town?
"I don't recognize any other place on this map. I say go to the commie den and work our way around from there."
"Besides, if Killy got herself into trouble, I wanna' see what happened there."

Tracy rips up the signs by the root and throws any useful pieces in her bag for future reference.
>>62424
Do the Wanted posters say anything about where to collect the bounties?
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62426
62428 62430
>>62424
So the map seems to be of the same part of the continent as they were located?

>>62425
*sighs*
"Fine, whatever"

Trumpaladin looks around him, to see if the coyote is staring like a cheshire cat
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62427
62429
>>62424
>where the party is accoring to the map is where Cardashil should be
"... Wait... What the hell just happened..?"
Tracy searches the maps and the wanted posters for anything that might hint to a relative date
"And where are my angels?!" she continues, her voice growing panicked
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62428
>>62426
pali check
So is everyone ready to be disguised, including absent players by proxy?
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62429
>>62427
"Calm down.... It's one of the Game Sponsors fucking with us"
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62430
62431
>>62426
"Do you recall a cold, barren wasteland surrounding Cardashil? I don't."
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62431
62435
>>62430
"Do you recall being summoned to a tea table in the middle of nowhere with a Coyote that you tried to threaten for some reason? Because I do. Now keep your cool, I think we will see however sent us here soon enough"
Anonymous
W1wmd
?
No.62432
*sighs* fine ill use a discize this time
Anonymous
69J36
?
No.62433
62434
>>62406
"Heh... Just like the old days..."
Snek looks a bit puzzled at the sorcerer remembering his past.
"Anyway! Now what? Where, maybe even when, are we?"
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62434
62435 62436
>>62433
"Can you cross dimensions? Because that may be helpful"
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62435
62437 62442
>>62431
"I don't think this is one of the foxes tea parties..."
>>62434
"Is that even what happened..? Where are we?"
Anonymous
69J36
?
No.62436
>>62434
"Uh... I think I can make short jaunts to the ethereal plane, but nothing too big"
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62437
>>62435
"I don't know. I don't know where we are or anything. That is why I wanted to go to a city that was not a ghost town. To ask questions of the locals whereby we may understand what is going on"
Anonymous
Tzjcc
?
No.62438
62440
Stix finds himself in a wasteland.
“Hmm... this doesn’t seem right.”
Looks to Torc
“Hey, meme magician, this isn’t one of your spells is it?”
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62439
62443
Tracy pulls her folding cart out of her bag and shoves the drooling, unresponsive bull into it. She then grows to hoers size and hooks herself to the cart.
"I say we go to Durpistan. It's the only place I recognize, and I'd like to see what's happened.. I don't recall anyone setting camp up around there.." Tracy says, with a serious look.
"Let's see what Killy got caught up in.."
Anonymous
69J36
?
No.62440
62441
>>62438
"If it is one of mine, something definitely went really wrong. But I'm pretty sure I don't have this kind of power"
Torc rips off the poster for Stix and shows it to him
"But whatever it is, it sure is gonna be interesting at least."
Anonymous
Tzjcc
?
No.62441
62444
>>62440
He stares at the poster in disbelief.
“Who even has seen me outside of you guys? How did I become a criminal within the hour?”
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62442
>>62435
"Well, here's what we know. We seem to have been lifted to an alternative version of the game world, or the game world in a different area, or the game world in a different time, or the entirety of the game world has been altered. Now, who has the power to do that? The Emperor, I am sure, but I don't think he would keep up wanted posters if he had done that. Perhaps there are others in the game world, but we've never seen them.

So my best guess is that we were sent somewhere, or alterations were made to the world around us, by the gods that sponsor this domain. So if we can figure out why they would have done this, perhaps we could crack this happening"
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62443
62455
>>62439
"Have you ever even been to Durpistan? What do you expect to find exactly? Burnt buildings replaced with ruined burnt buildings?"
Anonymous
69J36
?
No.62444
>>62441
Torc shrugs
"That's what we're gonna figure out. Snek, be useful, what's the largest looking or closest city on that map?"
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62445
62446 62447 62454 62464
Tracy throws dust at various targets.
Brace for autism:

>Lenos is now a very small version of Conan The Barbarian
>Torc is a giant mackerel in a tuxedo
>Snek a giant black and white striped centipede with a bunch of white gloves on each foot, and make-up like that of a French mime
>Fae is a large pink piggy with cute fluffy white wings
>Infernius is a blue gorilla with monster truck wheels instead of feet
>Brad is an enormous orange rooster
>Tracy is a purple-skinned gorgon (medusa type) in an acid green dress and red eyes
>Stix is a wooden puppet (think Pinocchio)
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62446
>>62445
REEEEEEEEEE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T78Tdbb2ldU
Anonymous
Tzjcc
?
No.62447
62448
>>62445
Now Stix must be carried around or else the locals may think he is possessed.