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Season-4-Character-Cluster-my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-37465977-1024-604.png
Contrarian, Cancerous, and Contentiously Contrite Nuts
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.53728
53730 53731 53737 53744 53745 54297
ITT Roleplaying
Classic Tabletop D&D (3.5e mostly)
New players welcome, most especially our recent pony addition

Its always some level of nuts in this thread, and this moment does not disappoint.
All kinds of things have happened, the result of which is that with over a week passing in meat-space the party is still right where they left off at.
Tracy is venturing to the mountains with her floofy-faced, hutungous birbs in an oversided wagon, hoping to give them a chance to have a moment with their biological father.
Trump, for some reason, is quite butt-hurt by this. What? Its true,....
Thez is enjoying the first decent night's sleep in over a week, Infernius contemplates (((genocide))) (does it work in that context? I mean he's contemplating their genocide of course), and Torcuil learns that Death is a pretty cool chick with a morbid sense of humor in an absurd job that you wouldn't think is a job, but its literally a job. So yeah, next time he wants to hit her up, just blow ur brains out or something.
Last thread got to over 1800 posts <trumpet fanfare> but that shit is impossible on mobile and cumbersome at best otherwise so,....


1402 replies and 178 files omitted.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.53933
tfw the ride starts.jpg
>is lurking
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.53934
53936
So, would Torc hear it since he's at the tower?
Anonymous
Oq8HH
?
No.53935
53937
>>53932
"You okay m8? Did you forget what me asked for?"
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.53936
53939
>>53934
Oh now he's at the tower? I thought he was prepping for takeoff on the airship.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.53937
53950
>>53935
"NO!" he waves his hand and presents 5 mannequins with varying designs of fashy uniform. "B'yessss?"
wRUJL
?
No.53938
53943 53947
[1d20 = 11]
>>53932
Tracy creeps up behind Ponimaru while he's talking and smacks him on the plot painfully (unarmed strike + Death Attack->Paralysis).
"Hey, little weeb, how have you been these days?"
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.53939
53940
>>53830
>>53895
>>53936

Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.53940
53942
>>53939
He's not going to the gnome city? Pretty sure Infernius would've said he was going suit-shopping when he left.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.53941
53942
transparent_flash.png
A wild (err... domesticated) Trumpaladin appears. Somewhere
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.53942
53944
>>53940
Not yet
>>53941
Hey brad
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.53943
53945
>>53938
Jumps a little at your arrival
“Oh... hello.”
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.53944
53946 53949
aryanne_shaded_wallpaper_by_planetarypenguin-d7sxbq6 (2).jpg
>>53942
Hello

"Hello"
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.53945
53949
>>53943
"Oh, hi." Tracy says, giggling at the (non-lethally) injured ninja-horse
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.53946
53948
>>53944
Wasn't he also on the airship?
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.53947
53949 53951
>>53938
Attack is deflected
"You. I'm not as soft as last time, if thats your question," he replies, taking a defensive stance.
"Watch out for this one. She won't harm you, but she might kill you," Ponimaru remarks to Styx.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.53948
Eh.png
>>53946
Maybe?
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.53949
53951
>>53944
Welcome back
>>53947
“I like you already Ponimaru. You got your quirk.”
>>53945
“A harmless death? Impressive. I assume you two own the place?”

Anonymous
Oq8HH
?
No.53950
>>53937
"Me like them. Me like them alot. Thank you frenchmen"
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.53951
53953 53954
>>53947
Shoot, that's surprising.
Tracy gives a nonchalant huff and rolls her eyes.
She turns to the blue stallion
>>53949
"The name's Tracy." she says, leaning against the stable walls as she picks her teeth with a dagger
>you two own the place
"Nah, I don't own this place. I just live here. You came from one of the rooms down that hallway, I'll guess?"
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.53952
Trumpaladin, not yet having arranged everything with Torcuil (evidently), decides to look for where the hell his alleged-waifu is

Detect evil
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.53953
53955 53958
>>53951
“Nice to meet you Tracy. Yes, I came from one of those. I have no idea how I got there, but I woke up, got blasted by some fire, and stumbled across this fellow.”
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.53954
53955 53958
>>53951
Ponimaru breathes a sigh of relief that he won't have to defend his life to the death,... again, and steps back to allow distance, but visibly relaxes

Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.53955
53956 53958
1459557__safe_artist-colon-pantheracantus_oc_oc only_oc-colon-tracy cage_jojo's bizarre adventure_monochrome_pony_traditional art.jpeg
>>53953
The pale blue, silver-maned mare puts her dagger into her cloak pocket and rests on all four hooves.
"If you're here, that probably means you've died... or something.." Tracy says, not looking entirely sure herself "I woke up in one of those rooms myself just a few months ago. I've been here ever since."
>>53954
Tracy cocks her head towards the ninjahorse threateningly as to startle him, then turns around smirking.
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.53956
53964
>>53955
“So, if we died... if this an afterlife of reward or punishment? Just want to know what we are dealing with here.”
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.53957
53959 53960
Torc begins wandering the tower yelling "INFERNIUS, ARE YOU COMING TO GNOME TOWN?"
Hopefully stumbling upon Tracy and Styx
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.53958
53961 53963
1517208792896.png
>>53954
I guess Trumpaladin eventually follows the scent of Evil to the stable. After making coffee

>>53955
>>53953
>>53954
From the entryway of the stable enters a tall man with strawberry blonde hair. He wears what appears to be glimmering half-playte armor over-top a business suit. His demeanor suggests a sort of indifference, like he has stumbled upon the situation. He calls out as if calling for a child to come along on a car trip

"Tracy?"
Anonymous
Oq8HH
?
No.53959
53962
>>53957
Im Not in the tower.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.53960
53962
>>53957
Which would naturally have been heard by Tracy adnd Styx. Not Infernius though.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.53961
53963 53968
>>53958
He's carrying a cup of coffee too
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.53962
>>53959
No shit, but Torc doesn't know that.
>>53960
Exactly.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.53963
53965
>>53958
"There he is,...."
>>53961
"its Trumpaladin,...."
(to the tune of the Mrs. America theme)
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.53964
53966 53967
>>53956
"Well it's definitely not a reward" The pale horse says with an almost sardonic tone "But I can't say it's a punishment either."
"Bottom line is, you, me, and a few other guys have been 'placed' here, by some weird beings beyond our comprehension. They're called "faggots", and to them, our lives are merely a means of killing time, and we'll be put through countless trials and tribulations for the sake of their entertainment. The only way to find peace is to please them, and so I hope you're in for an adventure, because things can get pretty messy on weekends." she says, seemingly indifferent to the horrific circumstance of her existence
"Try not to think about it too hard."
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.53965
53966
>>53963
*Music plays as he does so*
Yes, he's changed the sound system

"Hello weeaboo horse. What are you doing with my waifu?"
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.53966
53969
>>53964
“I...”
is cut off
>>53965
Turns to him
“Oh, sorry. I just got here. I’m just trying to understand what’s happening around here.”
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.53967
54184
bones.jpg
>>53964
>doots in agreement
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.53968
53971
>>53961
"Good afternoon, Flashy."
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.53969
53973
>>53966
"Who are you? How many stallions has she been around since I last saw her?"
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.53970
53971 53972 53974
Suddenly, Torc finds his way into the room preferably falling from the ceiling
"Hey guys, have you seen Infernius?"
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.53971
53974 53975
>>53968
"Who is he?"

>>53970
"Well there you are. We need to leave for Sparintenar. No, I don't know where he is"
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.53972
53975 53976
>>53970
Somehow in fact, he does fall into the room through the ceiling, his tartan ancap robes flailing as he makes his etrance
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.53973
53975 53976 53978
>>53969
“I’m Stix...”
Getting a little overwhelmed by all of the commotion going on.
“I think I better ask if there are any more coming in here, I may just introduce myself to all of you at once.”
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.53974
53976
>>53971
>who is he
"Fresh meat. Appeared right out of the residence hall."
>>53970
*steps around mage*
"I think he was going suit-shopping last I heard. Try looking around town."
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.53975
53976 53977
>>53971
"Sparint- NO, we're going to see the gnomes."
>>53972
I'm gonna say passwall
>>53973
Torc picks himself up and brushes off
"Nice to meet you Stix"
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.53976
53980
>>53972
"Gah! Wear some more damned clothing Torcuil"

>>53973
"Uh huh, and I'm her... Ah, nevermind."

>>53975
"Why would we want to see the gnomes? How are they going to help us?"

>>53974
Trumpaladin does not respond immediately
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.53977
53980
>>53975
More than a little confused at talk about faggots, adventure, and gnomes
“Nice to meet you as well”
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.53978
53979 53984
>>53973
"There's still two more, but this will do, go ahead," Ponimaru whispers.
Please note as you (the faggot) introduce Styx (the character) to the other characters, that Styx was a badass. We're going to spend the next couple months at least figuring out how and why he was a badass. Also, he has a relative memory of his past live(s?) and being a badass, which can be interwoven at length into his disposition/strategy.
For example, Infernius has the collective past lives of the German soldiers post ww2. Feel free to get creative.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.53979
>>53978
Or don't. Amnesia is also an option.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.53980
53981 53982
>>53976
"Technology, plus I want my ship checked."
I mean, he would be wearing a kilt if he did
>>53977
Torc leans over and whispers in Trump's ear "Who the fuck is this guy?"
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.53981
>>53980
*wouldn't
fucking typos
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.53982
53983 53990
>>53980
"What we need is men and allies. And I know where they have men with freaking anti-tank weapons. And that ship works, so no need...

I'm not sure. Hopefully not Tracy's boyfriend"
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.53983
53990
>>53982
"Yes it works, but fucking how? What are we gonna do if it breaks down?"
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.53984
53985 53988 53991 53994
>>53978
“Ok.. I’m Stix, as you heard. I can’t remember a whole lot for some reason. Last I remember, I was scouting for an archeologist client... I know I was considered a quite talented ranger, so they hired me to clear out the area from creatures, run of the mill stuff. I guess it didn’t go well for me to end up here.”
Desperately tries to remember more
“So, while I try to collect my thoughts, may I hear about you all?”
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.53985
53998
>>53984
"Oh, you must have woken up down the hall. Nice to meet you. I'm guessing the Blue One gave you the quick run down.

I am Trumpaladin - paladin of Trump. I am here to spread the word of Football, liberate this world from tyranny and evil, and to make Port Barry - or Elway permitting, the world - Great Again. In another life I was a law enforcement officer and then briefly a politician, hoping to hold back the tides that threatened to drown civilization"
Anonymous
Oq8HH
?
No.53986
53987
*goes to cosplay shoppe to buy thez a school girl outfit*
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.53987
53989
>>53986
Yes, fine, they've built costumes for her before, they know her measurements.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.53988
53994 53998
>>53984
"Oh I can give a quick run down.
I'm Torcuil, I got gud with meme-magic after living in a cave for years.
This one *points to Trump* is Trumpaladin, local horsefucker and the guy who likes to assume he's in charge. Likes sportsball.
The blue one is Tracy, she's nice...
usually muh haggis
Not here is the local minotaur. Large red fellow, called Infernuis. Apparently he has powers from some god, though I've never really seen him use them..."
Anonymous
Oq8HH
?
No.53989
53992
>>53987
*and then i bring my men their uniforms*
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.53990
>>53982
>>53983
"Just drop Flashy off at Sparta before you go off to see the gnomes. It's just a couple hours detour by air."
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.53991
53998
>>53984
"Do you hunt?" Tracy asks
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.53992
53995
>>53989
But you didn't decide on which one! One was navy blue with brass buttons, one was gunmetal with black buttons,....
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.53993
53997
Torc can also give himself on demand brain aneurysms
Like so https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8ju_10NkGY
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.53994
53996 54005
>>53988
Trumpaladin corrects a couple points
">good"
">assume"
">nice"

>>53984

Trumpaladin adds that the Minotaur "He's a literal nazi"
Anonymous
Oq8HH
?
No.53995
>>53992
Gunmetal with the black is the one i choose.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.53996
54000
>>53994
"You know, I would probably like you better as a toad."
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.53997
>>53993
delet
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.53998
53999 54000 54003
>>53985
“Very exciting. Is there much evil in this world to liberate us from?”
>>53988
“Meme magic? I want to here more on this as time permits. Sounds impressive.”
>>53991
“Yes. I love to hunt magical creatures especially. Timberwolves and the like can be a real burden to me and my clients. Best actively fix the problem before it starts.”


Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.53999
>>53998
"Sure, I can give you quick example if you want sometime"

PRAISE EPONA AGAIN
/A8XB
?
No.54000
54001 54002 54005
Crusader.jpg
>>53996
"A frog is your god right? I guess that's a complement"

>>53998
"It's absolutely overrunning with it. And when you think you've killed it, you find out is has access to the same basic ressurection spells you do.... Do you like crusading, per chance?" Trumpaladin's eyes widen enthusiastically when this is said
\r
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54001
>>54000
"Toads aren't frogs, dumbass"
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54002
54004
>>54000
>same spells
Thez rolls olver, elsewhere, still clutching the Infernius plushie. "Kefka,..." she mutters
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54003
54005
>>53998
"Timber wolves, eh?" Tracy implores, seemingly interested
"Those things don't go down easily: You must be pretty decent if you hunt those for a living."
"How do you prefer to fight?" she asks, flashing a dagger
Anonymous
Oq8HH
?
No.54004
>>54002
I go and get the suits thank Frenchy then bring them to my men.
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54005
54007 54008
>>53994
“A nazi? Sounds cool. Can’t wait to meet him.”
Has no idea what one is
>>54000
“I do seem to remember liking that. Fighting for that which is holy and righteous, the good stuff.”
>>54003
“I personally like daggers as well”
Shows her his dagger
“I also build traps, why do all the fighting yourself when nature and machines can help you out?”

Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54006
54007 54008
"Too bad Snek isn't here right now..."
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54007
54009
full (1).gif
>>54005
*Eyes widen immensely*
"M-me too!"

Trumpaladin takes out his talking magicaly sword and holds him up in the air in a heroic pose

>>54006
"Where is she?"
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54008
54009
>>54005
"I know my way around traps, although I find a certain gratification on landing the finishing shot myself." Tracy says twirling her dagger
"It does help when you're enemy can't move though."
>>54006
That'd be the last of your worries if you let the >2 Int, arm-less animal drive the airship alone
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54009
>>54007
"She? Oh, that. It wore off. He's watching the airship currently."
>>54008
>14 int
You messed that up
9hwZT
?
No.54010
54011
[1d3 = 2]
[1d100 = 95]

Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54011
54012
>>54010
I DON'T LIKE THIS
Anonymous
Oq8HH
?
No.54012
>>54011
Same
9hwZT
?
No.54013
54014 54018
[4d8 = 22]
[1d4 = 4]
[1d10 = 7]
Damn. Tracy, ur Ogre was a snake in the grass
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54014
>>54013
?????
9hwZT
?
No.54015
54016
[2d3 = 4]
[2d10 = 8]

Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54016
>>54015
My confusion overwhelms me
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54017
114.jpg
Trumpaladin has no idea what's going on, but he is ready "Come at me mother fucker!" Woo hoo!"
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54018
54020 54027
>>54013
*ears perk*
"Sounds like one of the faggots got bored; the 'session' is in full effect. Get ready for one hell of a ride."
*draws sword*
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54019
54022 54023 54028 54263
Tracy gets:
2200 silver
400 gold
70 platinum
8000 copper
2 gems
2 art
1 item (??)
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54020
54024
>>54018
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TRACY!"
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54021
Torc considers a moment, then grabs his Staff of Power, his gun, and activates the cuff of blinking or whatever it was
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54022
>>54019
WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Anonymous
Oq8HH
?
No.54023
>>54019
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54024
54025
>>54020
That would be on the corpse of the ogre she happened to witness the owning of and take possession of the corpse which was surprisingly loaded
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54025
54026
>>54024
Loaded is an understatement.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54026
>>54025
Ninja-sneak baller perhaps?
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54027
54028 54035
>>54018
“I’m deeply confused. What faggot?”
Scans the room for intruders
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54028
54029 54033
>>54019
#winning
Body-snatching ftw!
>>54027
"Never mind." Tracy says, embarrassed at her ill-considered fourth-wall break.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54029
54030
>>54028
It's only 700 gp equivalent, and you could have gotten all of it by just looting the corpse rather than taking the corpse itself
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54030
54031
>>54029
I didn't intend to loot it. Just took it because reasons.
The point being is that she made a considerable plunder without actually having to stab anything. She lucked-out.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54031
1513040531559.png
>>54030
Eh, that's true
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54032
54034
“Well, back on topic a bit, what is this place? Just a hotel for the dead? Is there any other purpose for this building?”