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Season-4-Character-Cluster-my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-37465977-1024-604.png
Contrarian, Cancerous, and Contentiously Contrite Nuts
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.53728
53730 53731 53737 53744 53745 54297
ITT Roleplaying
Classic Tabletop D&D (3.5e mostly)
New players welcome, most especially our recent pony addition

Its always some level of nuts in this thread, and this moment does not disappoint.
All kinds of things have happened, the result of which is that with over a week passing in meat-space the party is still right where they left off at.
Tracy is venturing to the mountains with her floofy-faced, hutungous birbs in an oversided wagon, hoping to give them a chance to have a moment with their biological father.
Trump, for some reason, is quite butt-hurt by this. What? Its true,....
Thez is enjoying the first decent night's sleep in over a week, Infernius contemplates (((genocide))) (does it work in that context? I mean he's contemplating their genocide of course), and Torcuil learns that Death is a pretty cool chick with a morbid sense of humor in an absurd job that you wouldn't think is a job, but its literally a job. So yeah, next time he wants to hit her up, just blow ur brains out or something.
Last thread got to over 1800 posts <trumpet fanfare> but that shit is impossible on mobile and cumbersome at best otherwise so,....


1402 replies and 174 files omitted.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54754
54756 54757 54768
>>54753
It's ~15 degrees outside. The only method I have for freeing up frozen units of food (which is all of them) is by swinging a 10lbs dead-blow sledge at an awkward angle anywhere from 10-25x per unit. Today we ran ~ 40 units, so that's anywhere from 400-1000 swings. While doing other things.

I hate the winter.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54755
*wood
Anonymous
BM2PR
?
No.54756
54759
1494037828888.png
>>54754
It's 78 fucking degrees in my apartment, and has been for days (and most of 2018) because the apartment complex refuses to turn on the air conditioning system. Worse, it's above 70 and also raining outside, so opening windows does no good

I too, hate winter
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54757
54758
9b0.jpg
>>54752
Yeah, it was a stupid question...
I was just crunching numbers to figure out how fast Tracy could run irl (114 mph, I think).
>>54754
Fug, that sounds awful...
*keks in Floridian*
It's been really fucking insufferably humid this week though...
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54758
54762
>>54757
Translation, ~60 mph (terminal velocity, wind resistance,... the D&D guys aren't physicists)
Anonymous
aWIDn
?
No.54759
54760
1517974198595.gif
>>54756
>he thinks 78 degrees is hot
Anonymous
BM2PR
?
No.54760
54761
>>54759
It's 78 degrees inside of the apartment at midnight. It's miserable to go to sleep in
Anonymous
aWIDn
?
No.54761
>>54760
Just get some air movement going. Don't you have a fan?
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54762
54763 54764 54765
>>54758
>Terminal velocity
Terminal velocity only applies to falling objects though.
I figured i Tracy's running speed was 500 ft/round, and a round was 3 seconds, her full running speed should be 113.6364 mph.

Also, by those measurements, flying dragons are slow as fuck.
Anonymous
U+yGZ
?
No.54763
54766
>>54762
But there is still wind resistance, though my math isn’t up to snuff to calculate these things.
>>54743
Sorry to hear your having a rough time.
*trys to will you more luck*
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54764
>>54762
First off, a round is 6 seconds, not 3. For two, yes terminal velocity only applies to falling objects. Are you suggesting that there would be less friction and wind resistance if a person was running along a surface than there would be from free-fall?
Anonymous
BM2PR
?
No.54765
54770
>>54762
Where the hell are you getting 500 ft a round? That's way the fuck out of all proportion. Your character's base speed is 40ft, which you should be grateful for because that is faster than any humonoid in the game
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54766
54767
>>54763
>wind resistance.
She has the Necklace of Adaption: projects a bubble of fresh air around her. Think of her body like a torpedo with a hydrophobic paint coating.
Anonymous
BM2PR
?
No.54767
>>54766
Faster speed is not a part of the necklace of adaptation
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54768
54769
>>54754
That doesn't sound fun
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54769
54771
bc.jpg
>>54768

Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54770
54772 54775
1477399__safe_artist-colon-evehly_rainbow dash_-colon-3_animated_clothes_crossover_cute_dashabetes_dumb running ponies_female_floppy ears_gif_gotta go .gif
>>54765
Her base speed is 40 (racial) + 10 (Pali-mount increase) = 50 ft/round
With her special horseshoes, her ground speed doubles, bringing it up to 100 ft/round.
With a full-round action, she can Run to move at up to five times her normal speed, bringing her speed up to 500 ft/round. If she's ahem spurred in action, her absolute maximum speed is 510 ft/round for a single turn.

Best mount.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54771
>>54769
Kek
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54772
54773
>>54770
Thez looks at speed stats.
"Ha, my full speed is 555 ft/round." Xp
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54773
54774 54776
>>54772
>trips
"I'll get faster someday, you'll see..."
Anonymous
R8R9k
?
No.54774
54777
>>54773
Fuck off
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54775
54778
>>54770
Also, she can't go full speed in the first round. Best case, she can move at 3x her base movement rate in the first round, then 5x in the second.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54776
>>54773
>Gotta go fast plays in background
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54777
>>54774
*contemplates taking a lvl in Barbarian, just for the speed*
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54778
54779
>>54775
You're correct. It'd take her a couple rounds to accelerate.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54779
54780
>>54778
But still, you're talking ~80ft/sec. which at 5280 f/mi is ~66 seconds/mile which is - as I said - about 60mph.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54780
54781
>>54779
Ah, it seems I made an arithmetic mistake there.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54781
>>54780
I'm using way less-precise calculations/results, but yeah its at about that speed.
Which is also very nearly the terminal velocity of a humanoid-sized object at freefall.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54782
54783
when he presses X.png
Okay then, Tracy, running faster than a cheetah, gallops towards Sparta, with Sparkle's head sticking out of the side pocket on her saddlebag having the time of his life.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54783
54784
>>54782
If it's terminal velocity, 122 mph
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54784
54785
Tl:dr I've crunchded many maths
About 5 months ago this is what I wanted to say, but that's cuz the Game seems to operate weird in recollection as far as time is concerned, the correct duration is 9 months ago, I went on a 2-day binge precisely calculating speeds, acceleration, free-fall, wind-resistance/friction, and a whole slough of D&D related expressions.
"In particular, he was calculating the amount of damage an adamantine (simulated - monk fist) object falling from 3/4 of a mile would do upon successfully striking an opponent!"
Yes. Those calculations led to further calculations, onioned by more calculations,.... What I came up with is that 65mph is an acceptable and reasonable speed limit, just because I don't want to have to get so autistic that I get nosebleeds trying to determine precisely what is what.
>>54783
Maybe with absolute reduction of wind-profile, but generally I'd put it at 85 TOPS

Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54785
54786 54793
>>54784
>onioned
Kek.
I still want a 5lb glassteel cannon ball
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54786
54788
>>54785
No you don't. You want a 2lbs hollow glassteel sphere
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54787
54789
But Tracy hasn't delivered that sketch yet
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54788
54791
>>54786
I did the math for a 5lb solid shell dammit
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54789
54790 54791
>>54787
What sketch?
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54790
>>54789
Saw-hoers' blueprints
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54791
54792 54796
>>54789
The note Slovenia asked you to give to Torcuil.
>>54788
Relax, it'll be 5lbs
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54792
>>54791
Oh, yeah.
I'll remember to have her give it to Torc when she gets there.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54793
54796
>>54785
Put an Arcane Mark on it, so you can summon it back after you use it.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54794
54795 54796
I g2g
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54795
>>54794
>pets pony
See ya later
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54796
54797 54802
>>54791
I'm just saying if I did the math for a solid five pound tank shell, I don't wanna end up with a 2lb hollow sphere.
Also, is there a library in the town?
>>54793
Smart...

If it doesn't melt
>>54794
See ya
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54797
54798
>>54796
Cuz its going to stay hollow, and not get filled with nitro and all sorts of shrapnel and explodey-bits?
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54798
54799
>>54797
But that's with a trebuchet, not telekinesis
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54799
54800 54804
>>54798
>doesn't want explosive Trebuchet rounds
My bad. I had forgotten you have your own rail-gun-esque game-breaker in the works
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54800
54801
>>54799
>sigh
I never said I didn't want the trebuchet rounds, but I also want my magic powered rail gun for special situations.
Torc also wants to look for books and start engineering.
SPACE, THE FINAL FRONTIER
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54801
54805
>>54800
noted. Its an 'in case of emergencies' cannon
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54802
54805
>>54796
>Melt
Lenos said he'd tried to destroy the tower multiple times: unless enchanted to be so, the material must be uber heat-resistant.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54803
BTW, I'm thinking about streaming Idiocracy. I could just watch it, but except for Tracy's faggot who can't ever see anything, I like watching w/ the rest of u faggots.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54804
54807
>>54799
I'd like explosive sling bullets.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54805
54806
>>54801
Yes
>>54802
>mach 10
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54806
54807 54809
why-do-you-even-want-an-apron-because-im-a-30056725.png
>>54805
Telekinesis is a great spell.
Now I want a ring...
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54807
>>54804
I'm shocked
>>54806
see above
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54808
Movie would start in ~70 minutes
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54809
54810
>>54806
>Torc makes wands for everybody but Tracy
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54810
>>54809
reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54811
54812
Tracy can buy most mundane items at the port, right?
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54812
>>54811
Yup
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54813
54814 54817 54818
I’m going to try hinting the story I’m thinking up for Stix. hopefully it won’t suck, I never tried writing a story before

Stix stares into his small fire at the campsite, pondering all the events so far in this strange world. The crazy people, the interesting environments, but for some reason, his mind kept drifting to the fire trap he encountered when he first arrived. He wasn’t hurt by it, maybe a bit surprised, but that was nothing new considering being thrown into a new place with all kinds of characters telling you your dead.

But still, he couldn’t get the image of the fire out of his head. He tries to take his mind off of it by looking to the stars for a while. “I wonder if the constellations are different here? Let’s see... there is the Ursa Major and th-“

Was it getting warmer? Stix glances at his camp fire. It was still the same intensity. So why is it so hot all of a sudden? He gets up at takes a few steps back, but the heat is getting worse. In a panic, Stix throws dirt on the fire, but it won’t go out, in fact, it grows, seemingly in spite to the attempt to snuff it out. “I must be ill. It feels my body is roasting! And why can’t I put out the damn fire?” Almost in response, the fire creeps out of the pit which held it back and inches toward the increasingly frightened pony.

Stix attempts to flee, but is stopped before he can even finish turning around as the ground around him ignites to add to the blazing heat. He observes everything burst into flame. The path he traveled, the trees around him, and... even the sky! Had he gone mad? He didn’t ponder this for long as the inferno overtook him where he stood. He watched in horror as his forelegs were wrapped in a blue film for half a second before releasing the bright orange and yellow glow in a roar.

He screamed in pain and begged for it to stop, but to no avail. He looked forwards helplessly, believing these to be his last moments as he observed the ground slowly rise up, as if he was sinking where he stood. From among the tears streaming down his face as if trying to quench the blaze, he took note of something shining before him. As he looked closer to inspect it, a jewel seems to float toward him in a puddle of molten gold. All of his attention is now on this jewel as the world appears to fade to black around him. He watches it forms cracks under the extreme heat, spiderwebbing, until it shatters with a loud... CRACK!

Stix jumps at the sound, awaking from this nightmare drenched in sweat. He quickly realized he had fallen asleep next to the fire. Nearly in a blink of an eye, Stix throws heaps of dirt onto the fire and stomps it repetitively. He then runs back about thirty feet and curls up into a ball. Things are starting to become clearer, and he wished he hadn’t been trying to remember now. “S-so... that’s the way I... died?”

I know that wasn’t very good. Very heavy in cliché and such, but I felt I needed to try making the character a little more interesting.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54814
54815
>>54813
At least you didn't accidentally write Braveheart...

And actually, not half bad at all.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54815
>>54814
>accidentally write Braveheart
Kek
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54816
54820
375299__safe_artist-colon-assasinmonkey_applejack_spike_beautiful_daily deviation_epic_king timber wolf_scenery_timber wolf.png
411055__safe_artist-colon-huussii_applejack_spike_badass_beautiful_epic_glowing eyes_king timber wolf_scene interpretation_size difference_technical ad.png
198219__safe_solo_30 minute art challenge_artist-colon-atryl_timber wolf.png
737345__safe_artist-colon-nameless-dash-fairy_trixie_female_fight_magic_mare_monster_painting_pony_scenery_timber wolf_unicorn.png
350046__safe_artist-colon-eosphorite_badass_glow_solo_timber wolf.jpg
How scary of a monster would a adult Timber Wolf be? Like a Brachyurus, only with the plant subtype? It'd definitely be a powerful and dangerous creature.
Forget I asked. No spoilers.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54817
>>54813
Great.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54818
>>54813
>cliche
Not at all. I'm not sure where you're going with it, and I look forward to seeing more.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54819
BTW, movie
https://www.rabb.it/ninjas
Anonymous
BM2PR
?
No.54820
54821 54822
>>54816
I had a life and death for my character, certainly planned out and part of it was written out.

I stopped when Tracy's faggot made fun of me for saying that I wanted my character's backstory to overlap with his...
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54821
F282DF5A-AE3C-430C-AFDD-1402D74D82DF.jpeg
>>54820
Well, that is just plain rude Tracy’s faggot.

I would like to hear the story if you still want to share it.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54822
>>54820
I did that? Sorry...
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54823
54824
>considers writing a slightly different backstory so Torc isn't "William Wallace with memes and (((jews)))"
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54824
54825
>>54823
You should put more emphasis on the cave where he studied meme magick.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54825
54826
>>54824
Good idea
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54826
54827 54830 54835
>>54825
Anyway, what I was saying is that Idiocracy analyzes the dynamic of a "responsible" household working in the midst of a society that is ass-backward. I'd been contemplating the movie for several days, as I continue to attempt to understand how I might hope to positively influence those I interact with.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54827
54828
>>54826
Wut even...
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54828
54829 54832
>>54827
Surely you noticed the subtext of "a rational person surrounded by idiots"?
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54829
>>54828
Well, yes I get what your saying.
It's more the fact...

You know what, never mind
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54830
54831
>>54826
>responsible household working in the midst of a society that is ass-backward
Isn’t that called life as we know it today?

>I'd been contemplating the movie for several days, as I continue to attempt to understand how I might hope to positively influence those I interact with.
That’s nice, but I’m not sure how come the movie helps you in doing this. Maybe it shows you something you haven’t considered, but I think a movie can only teach you so much about helping to interact and influence people positively.

Oh, and sorry for not watching it with you, but the system is still giving me problems.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54831
>>54830
90% sure he's bullshitting us, that movie was weird as hell
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54832
54833
>>54828
The point of the movie was that Not Sure was really just an average guy, but he did nothing with his life.
Part of the lesson was to get "average" people to at least try to make a difference in society. Everyday you hear people of every political affiliation complaining about how the people who run their governments are "idiots", without doing anything to to fix it themselves. All of the issues in the universe were really just basic problems that were collectively ignored by humanity because nobody cared enough to even think of trying to fix them.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54833
54837 54838
>>54832
Agreed, nominally. I for one find myself amongst "households" and "peers" who are more interested in buying the latest I-phone or putting rims on their car - to say the least - than planning for their children's future who they already have or hell, just cleaning their damn room.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54834
54835 54836 54840
I want dire goats and dire cattle for Tracy's ranch. Actually, I want dire everything. A dire farm.
Anonymous
BM2PR
?
No.54835
54838
379.gif
>>54826
>>54826
>a "responsible" household working in the midst of a society that is ass-backward... how I might hope to positively influence those I interact with
There is but one hope anon

>>54834
>Wants more things, he declares for the third time in an inactive day
Well no shit
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54836
>>54834
>Tracy wanting something really strange
>not gamebreaking, just weird
I'm so shocked
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54837
>>54833
That's part of what makes the movie so depressingly accurate.. but also makes it more compelling to try to make something of your life.
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54838
>>54833
That is why they are called normies. They are so deep in the matrix, they can even see that they are illogical and motivated by shallow desires. It is amazing to see play before your eyes once you detach yourself from this lifestyle isn’t it?

>>54835
You depress me sometimes anon.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54839
54842
Where could I find dire livestock though..
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54840
54844
>>54834
Gee, its a pity you let those Ogres wander off with that dire cattle isn't it
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54841
>ITT faggots discussing the themes and morality of Idiocracy
Anonymous
BM2PR
?
No.54842
54843
>>54839
Can you go one day without shopping?
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54843
54845
>>54842
You might want to consider keeping this line away from the ladies, at the very least the real ones.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54844
54846
>>54840
Tbh, that was my way of subtly hinting I haven't given up on the ogres...

Anonymous
BM2PR
?
No.54845
54847 54848
>>54843
>Real human ladies
I learned my lesson on that one. Never again
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54846
54850
>>54844
An entire herd of dire cattle can't be that hard to track.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54847
>>54845
RIP
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54848
54850
>>54845
Care to share? I’m all ears.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54849
Shabby was probably just a soyboy. Real ogres appreciate layers.
BM2PR
?
No.54850
54851 54852 54853
1507355229015.gif
>>54846
If only you had the tracking feat and weren't dozens of miles away

>>54848
Years of putting up with psychopathy and emotional outbursts (usually in public), besides the selfishness. I could say more, but why
\r
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54851
>>54850
Ouch
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54852
>>54850
>but why?
‘Cause it’s good to let out your frustrations and get things off your chest. I’m not saying you have to, just that you may want to.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54853
54854
>>54850
Well, they were in the mountains, and a herd of dire cattle leaves a pretty clear trail (like 2 dozen sets of tracks), so it shouldn't be that hard.